A Barking Dog

Over the years I’ve watched many an old, or even middle aged man ride off from many, many successful years touring. Dicko, Perk, Mason and Morrison to name a few. These days I reckon I’m in that group. With few exceptions touring life has no place for old men. Either the road eats them up or of their own volition indicates they leave the road. If nothing else for the sake of their own sanity. Some though, present company included, stay past their expiration dates then wonder why what used to be so fulfilling has turned into a wasteland devoid of any enjoyment. Gotta love what you do but when you don’t it’s no different than being some cubicle rat in an office, counting the minutes until your release from the prison of conformity and Dilbert like ineptitude. At least Dilbert is funny.

At the front end of the career it’s a competitive environment. And that doesn’t change as the years rage on. There are always more people than available gigs though there never seem to be enough GOOD people for those gigs. As one gets on in years, like the seasons, things change. What was important at 25 is no longer important at 35 and things like family start to take priority over things like gigs. What do you think is more important? Making sure your TPS reports are properly filled out, or making sure your kids are healthy and happy? Lumdberg might be pissed, but those reports are a distant second, if not further down the list.

When you’re a young turk in this biz you don’t think about what you’re going to do next year. Let alone when you are 40, 50 or 60. I know I didn’t start thinking about it until Crazy Uncle Kenny’s dot com entered a death spiral and I saw my six figure livelyhood disappering faster than Britney’s panties. Forty years old, no college degree, years of experience in the Varsity of touring audio. Outside of touring, that and six bucks would get me a double tall, low fat, half soy, part vanilla, part hazelnut latte. For all intents and purposes in that case you don’t have a pot in which to piss, as they say. It really hit home when shortly after the dot com was sold for pennies on the dollar and the operators at the time determined they didn’t really need my services. No prob, I thought. While the first dot com bubble burst, it was still a boomtown in comparison to the rest of the world.

I was attending a technology job fair up in Seattle, fresh on the dole of the State of WA just ending a nearly three year run at the dot com, the heart of which I started as a labor of love not quite a decade earlier. Google was advertising a contract position for someone to maintain storage space in either the Chicago or Atlanta data center. Basically, you read a log and swap dead hard drives from clusters. Even though I’d been able to build dot com, build and run the data center infrastructure I wasn’t qualified for the job as a contractor swapping drives. I was Red Hat certified, Sun certified and a former MS certified tech with commercial experience on the Internet since the Internet became commercial. No matter. I didn’t have a college degree, even though most of the kids applying were in grade school and had no idea what a server was at the time I was starting to build the property. While I had the knowledge and experience to do the task, according to the search kings, I didn’t have the most important part. A piece of paper that said that I was able to tolerate four years of school regardless of any real world experience.

That left a mark. And at the same time was a huge wake up call. Had I stayed at Cal Poly Pomona about a quarter century earlier I might have had the paper to get that gig, but I surely wouldn’t have gotten the gigs I did, when I did had I stayed in school. As they say, when you find a fork in the road, take it. And I took this one and that was where I was at the time. The next day I confirmed an offer for a tour that would take me through most of that year. One door closes, one door opens. At that point, the dynamics and structure of touring had changed. Controlled more by the bottomline than quality in and of itself the pricing structure for most continued to decline. What was once a US$2500/wk gig plus PD, business class travel and own room in a good hotel was a US$1200/wk gig, light PD, coach travel and sharing a room with some twenty something concerned with getting the most out of the party atmosphere. Or about where I was nearly two decades earlier.

I suppose that’s standard economics. Supply and demand. It’s OK when you’re 20, or 30. Less tolerable when you’re 40. How about 50? I’ll be there in a few years. At 60? The problem for many of us is we didn’t start thinking of exit strategies until well into our careers. You can milk a good twenty years from the road, but can you do thirty? Or fourty? And at what cost? In the mid 90s there was a very popular band that we had a vendor contract with. They were from Austraila and were tearing up the airwaves at that point. The mon guy from OZ was a family man. He’d been on the road for sometime. At one point during the tour he called home. His six year old son answered. “Hi, it’s daddy” the mon guy stated. To which the kid replied “Who’s daddy?” Within the next couple of days, the mon guy headed home, to my knowledge never to tour again.

My point is to have an exit strategy so at the point you turn 50 you’re running the show instead of changing RF mic batteries and shouting “climber 2 check, fourteen, one-four, check” into a french Canadian’s face just prior to the show. Even the best laid plans shit the bed. Make sure you have a handle on where you wnat to go and how you want to get there. What you are doing at 30 isn’t going to be what you want to be doing at 60.

As the Summer 2k7 ABD winds to a close, (actually this started about two months ago) this being the final post of the Summer 2k7 season (which at this point is now Fall), much has happened in this last several months. We went from having a technically deficient show in terms of sound systems and design to one of the most elaborate designs and implementations not only on this block but in the in the biz as a whole. Even after a year, I’m still amazed, but no longer perplexed by the scale of what we do. No longer am I overwelmed with a gigantic performance space that encompasses several thousand square feet over six stories and more than a million gallons of water.

But it’s not come at some expense. The compressed time frame of our recent “enhancement”, (sound is awesome, but a reported 6 mil worth of lights looked like shit to me) unmanagable colleagues and demands from upper management make the technical nirvanna secondardy to the petty politics, greed, arrogance, incompetence and ignorance that seem to permeate my existence on the gig at this point. Just like with touring, it became not fun to come in everyday inspite of having one the best gigs in the biz using some the most advanced tools available. The horseshit factor outweighed any enjoyment that might be derived from such a job. It’s not like I didn’t like those with which I work, as I do. It’s just that I have a different veiw of Varisty than some of them did. Or at least in my mind, I think that I do. I do enjoy the genre of the modern circus style Las Vegas production show in the terms of scale, scope and artistic endevor. You’d never find me doing some of the things the performers do. Ever. Well, except perhaps imbibing on a favorite spirit at the Artisan or Peppermill.

It’s a bittersweet time, full of angst and indecision. As Ed says, “but I know that I know I don’t want to stay”. So I left. About six weeks ago I put in my notice, much to the “disgust” of English John, our leader. I don’t know that disgust was the word he was looking for. I’ve only voluntarily left one gig before, work of Sid for the “riders that go for great distance”, or the “riders that are very tall”, as Jordy would say. I did mention that after nearly a couple of decades, I did run into Jordy in Spain again? I mentioned that in the Euro 2k6 season when we were doing the castle tour. Still have some great castle gig video. I should post that one of these days. I should also not cuss, bathe regularly, brush my teeth and not be such a crusty old fuck. But that’s not likely to happen either.

Much like an infant in a shit laden diaper, it was time for a change. Not that I didn’t like the show or the people I was working with, I did. But the challenges were few and a couple of the personalities I had to deal with made the gig less than fun. I told the powers that be that I left the gig to pursue greater opportunities. That’s partially right. But I also didn’t have any shirts with a rainbow picture of the sun with French writing. Well, Quebecious anyway. I figured that if I was going to spend the back nine of my career doing this kind of show (with an outstanding benefits and good compensasion package) I might as well be doing it with the people that are considered to be the top of the class. Even if they are based in Canada, err, I mean Quebec.

So if this is such a good move, why is it bittersweet? Other than the fact that Fuel record is on Dave’s iTunes now? I had (and still have it) it pretty good. I was instrumental in redesigning and programming a big ass monitor rig on one of the most complex shows on the planet. I was working with (mostly) some pretty cool people. But after a year and a half I was going nowhere. I need to be the lead dog on the sled team. I can’t stand looking up the other dogs butts on the sled, particularly when I think I can be faster than them. On tour it was easy. Cut the mustard, be good at your gig or your ass gets shipped out. In LV Strip world, don’t work like that. If you’re kind of good enough to do the gig, don’t piss anyone off too badly and don’t invite any lawsuits, they’ll keep your ass around no matter how much you know or don’t know about doing mission critical pro audio. To me, that ain’t right. Know your shit, do it well or get the fuck out. It’s really that easy.

As wistful as I am for the touring days, it would take a call for a long term gig where Rog and Dave brought the inflatable pig and styrofoam bricks for the wall to get me out of retirement. And somehow I don’t think I would be on the short list for the call.

So what did I do? I started over. Again. Shit. Part of this is having to work my way back up from my former life of being the big swinging dick on the desk to being the guy on deck that makes sure that all the IFBs, ear mons and mics are working. About a hundred packs at this point. No, really. That’s an assload of batteries. And not counting wireless com. Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forward. Of course, the trick is to know when the time is right and see the payoff at the end of the tunnel. Otherwise you’re just going backwards. And that’s the bittersweet part. Knowing that you can do the heavy lifting but being relagated to what one might consider crap work. That, my friend, is what separates the men from the boys, the Varisty from the Jr Varisty.

Based on a post on the theater sound list I decided to undertake a bit of an experiement, though hardly scientific. Which is my point in my response. Many times, if not the majority of the time what we do is more a factor of the application rather than the science we use to do this sound thing. While we need to have a good understanding of the mechanics of audio, we really need to know how they fit into the big picture.

The discussion was regarding the parallel spliting of microphones with regards to sound reinforcment applications. Jim Brown and Bill Whitlock presented AES 118 in Barcelona “A better approach to passive microphone splitting” (paper 6338) Full text is available at http://www.audiosystemsgroup.com/AESPaperSplittersASGWeb.pdf

While the research presents compelling arguments and data for reasons not to Y split mics it fails to address practical and business concerns and offer a comparison of real world parameters aside from what is very comprehensive test data. In other words, plugging a mic in and using it in an app without all the test gear and using perhaps the most important audio test gear, human ears. My point is that even with the science, in a real world SR application one will be challenged to tell in the majority of cases which mic is Y split and which mic is transformer split. The paper does an excellent job of explaining the phenomenon though it doesn’t address the use of lower cost transformers when used degrade or change the audio more than a Y split would, particularly on the low end with high amplitude apps. To me that’s been much more noticable than Y spliting. Also, the current breed of active mic splitters add thier own signature to the sound, offsetting many times the subtle differences in esoteric mic pre amps. In practice I’ve found the results of using active mic spllitters and inexpensive transformers to impact my app more than the results of Y split mics. Given the same level of other equipment, talent, environment, etc.

I had hoped to make a more comprehensive comparison but due to time and other restrictions, I won’t be able to at this point. This weekend I trade my polyester blend polo shirts from the swanky dive on the Strip for some tee shirts with a picture of a yellow sun at another dive down the street where they do the same sort of thing. This time, though, instead of flying 90lb french chicks through the air then dunking them in water, we’ll turn the beach into a forrest and then into a mountain and fly 90lb asian chicks through the air but with no real water to dunk them into.

Here’s what I did for the mic split comparison. Using a PM1D V2 with the new mic preamp cards, supposedly based on the XL4, the LMY4-MLF or as we call them, the MILF cards. I used a Neuman KMS-104 with 100′ cable and split it with a standard Y into two channels of the PM1D. I routed the preamp out (pre HPF) of each channel out of a DIO MY4-AT (Lightpipe) into a Digidesign 192 I/O feeding a Pro Tools HD2 system @ 24 bit/44.1kHz. One file is the direct, unsplit sound of the mic. On the second pass two mono tracks recorded the indentical source concurrently in real time and the mic in the second track is used. The most difficult thing for me was keeping the mic technique consistent between tests.

I’ve uploaded the files at http://roaddog.com/video/split_test/file1.wav and http://roaddog.com/video/split_test/file2.wav . I’ll leave it to our gentle readers to decide which is which or even if so inclined to run a transfer function test to see any differences or if that test matches the differences in what one preceives between the two files.

EDIT: I’ve opened comments for a while so if you have anything to say, post it.

Dave

Jesus has been to see us a few times over the last month or so. He should. Near as I can figure, and I ain’t no math major, he’s pumped about 25 mil, cold hard cash into the joint in the last few months. Mostly all good though some, in my not so humble opinion, not. If you want change the world, shut your mouth and start this minute. This week we also bid a fond farewell (err, not exactly) to our visiting lighting design team. More like don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. Most of them were pretty cool, all of them high end established pros in the biz.

The Princess of Darkness is special though. She’s touched. If she were an Absolut commercial, it would be “Absolut Batshit Wacky”. The arrogance doesn’t bother me as much as the lack of respect for the 200 other people working on the show. Consider this, someone sets up a huge creation zone in front of what is one of the busiest departments in the show. Then complains about how we go in and out of our offices. Sorry you set up in front of one of the most trafficed places in the production. What’s more sorry is the lack of support from upper management and the propensity to kiss her ass so hard that they may likely suck out a turd. Everyone thrown under the bus all because the Princess has been nominated for several awards from that Tony guy and she’s in the favor of Jesus. Still haven’t found that Tony guy, I hear he doesn’t like sound guys. And it looks like shit. But what do I know, I’ve only been doing this and enjoying live shows for more than three decades.

Sweetiebabycookiehoney, we don’t give two fucks about how they do it in New York. This is Vegas, baby. And if New York wasn’t such a run down shithole, we’d consider buying it. But they don’t have 24 hr booze, gaming and quality hookers so it doesn’t quite fit our business model. Well, they have that, but not legally so we can give the State a taste. That’s what we sell here, kids. Fun and fantasy. And we tax the shit out of it. And no one complains.

At one point the Princess proclaimed to all within earshot that “this is how we do it at the highest level of lighting”. If by that, Princess, do you mean wash the stage with so much lighting you can’t see what’s happening then move the lights not in time to the music? It looks like a Full Sail graduate’s time at a Whole Hog in the Martin booth at NAMM rather than a multi million dollar lighting design by some acclaimed Broadway designer. But then what do I know? I’m only some broke dick ass that’s done rock for the last few decades.

Well what the hell is the point, Dave? Glad you asked because I was ready to go on another tangent. The point is, no matter how good you are, or more importantly, how good you THINK you are, don’t be a dick. In the long run it will bite you in the ass. I know this from experience. Also, don’t think because you are good at one thing and got really rich from it, don’t think you can be good at other things automatically. I call this the “transitive property of having your head firmly in your ass”. You’re good at what you’re good at, and that’s it. It’s really is that simple. Too bad Jesus doesn’t get it.

Dirty hair and titty rings sold separately.

The buzz/panic/hysteria mode in the pro audio and production biz is the (now old, really old) news that the FCC has been and will continue to auction off portions of the spectrum currently used by TV and wireless devices such as ear mons, mics, comm, etc. Some rather poorly informed souls attribute this to powerful lobbies of the electronics industry. It’s a bit deeper than that. In 1993 Congress passed the Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act which gave the FCC the power to allocate portions of the spectrum, thus creating a competitive environment for the “product” (the public airwaves) and therefore driving up the price that the private sector was willing to pay, creating if you will, a market value for something that had previously been allocated via such methods as lotteries and comparitive hearings. As any noob with an eBay account can tell you, the best way to get a feel for the worth (or in some cases the perceived worth) of a good or service is to put it on eBay. In 1997 Congress extended and expanded the FFC’s authority over the matter. And that brings us to where we are today and are heading in the next few years.

Anyone that’s done any touring in the last few years or is working in a harsh radio environment, for example NYC is well familiar with the ever crowded spectrum. With the advent of DTV, space we used freely for the last several decades has been displaced by the new format TV channels. Over the next couple of years, the analog UHF channels will go dark. Some of this spectrum is already taken. For example when the DTV legislation was being hashed out, it was agreed that UHF band would be sold to the highest bidder. All other uses be damned. No one thought what that would do to unlicensed users of that particular spectrum. So, what the fuck dude? What’s going to happen? Well hell if I know for sure, or that anybody knows. In fact I started writing this episode about 10 months ago after attending a private meeting held for my pals at the Sirkus of the Sun, who are kind enough to invite someone that works for the Redheaded Stepchild of that genre of show to informal technical gatherings, not including the Drinking Club with an Audio Problem. The Dark Menis is good like that.

Here’s the deal, most everything but much of 700 mHz is gone, sold to the highest bidder. While it might look like we are fucked harder than Doogie Howser in prison, it’s not quite that bad, yet. I mean the wireless spectrum deal, not prison sex. There have been some proposals to allow us to coexist in the spectrum, but we’ve been skirting the law for as long as there have been wireless mics and ears. Truth be told we been scofflaws the whole time. Now I’m not going to get all sanctamonious like my pal Jimmy B did on the Theater Sound list, because A) that’s not reality, and B), because unlike JImmy, I push faders for a living and not pencils and I know what it takes to gig in the biz. Big difference between designing a rig, and doing a gig. Easy to write on the Interweb about how things should be (hey Dave, aren’t you doing that now?) and how things really are (hey Dave, don’t you always tell us how “things really are”, or at least how you think they are in your world, Dave?). Well yes, yes I do.

Well, what should we do? OK, cool, for starters, either A) get off your young disenfranchised asses, or B) get off your cynical, jaded old asses and make sure you are informed on the subject. Start at the FCC Auctions page. Lot’s of skinny on what The Gov(tm) is planning to do, or at least what they think they are planning to do. Remember, this government is the same one that can’t get water to thirsty disaster victims much less get them off their roofs during a flood or provide the troops that proudly and bravely (my balls certainly aren’t that big) serve us with the proper gear for such a dangerous job. If the gov can find a way to fuck it up, they will. And we’ll all end up paying for it. Don’t matter if you’re Red State or Blue State, you gotta agree that we haven’t been exactly Varsity over the last several years when it comes to this shit. Bet none of you could shoot a guy in the face and get away with it.

The kats that build this wireless shit have a stake in what happens, but unfortunately don’t have the bankroll that those supporting it do. Shure has a page with Whitespace information on what’s happening. Now most of you should know this already. All the lobbying that the wireless manufacturers is going to pale in comparison to what will really be the driving factor in how this will sort out. Bigtime sports. Imagine a Superbowl without wireless mics, comm or IFB. These days, it couldn’t happen. Do what you want, but don’t fuck with a guy’s Superbowl. Personally, I could give a shit about pro football or the Superbowl, but if it saves us some spectrum for radio mics, I’m all for it. The reality is (at least Dave’s reality) that in the last minute we’ll be granted space in which to operate our devices legally (unlike now) because in the end, money and power always wins. While we have really neither, broadcast has both as does high end political TV and corporate and doing events of the scale to which we have become accustomed is going to require some space to facilitate radio devices. It’s ironic to me that the same event that caused so much uproar showing Janet’s titty as a sign of “indecency” is likely to be the same one that saves us some spectrum so we can use our shit. I suppose indecency is in the ey of the beholder and I find it more offensive than showing the beauty of a human body that to report yet another human body mangled or destroyed. But that’s just me…

Been hot as fuck here over the last six weeks or so. Exactly, Dave, how hot is fuck? Well of course that all depends on who is doing it. Opps, sorry strayed from the topic. Guess that’s what I get for not having Tony give me one of them awards. I’m sure he’s not the guy that gave me all these platinum colored records, errr I mean CDs. Actually, very few were “given” to me. Most of them I had the priviledge of purchasing only after I was associated with the project. I wonder if that Tony guy charges his recipients for copies of the award. Touring we did on many gigs 20k punters per night. Most of these theater gigs don’t do 20k punters per month. Dave are you bitter and grinding an axe against the theatrical discipline based on your limited experience with some of those asshats? No, give me another few weeks and let it really fester. That’s not how you do it in New York? Well, Sunshine, do you think it’s because this isn’t a Broadway theater gig is the reason why it’s not like that? No, really…

It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity, and fortunately for us, there isn’t much humidity. At least it’s a dry heat… Technically, my first summer here was last summer, though two years ago when I first did the recon down here during Infocomm, it was June and hotter than hell. Hot, hot, hotter than hell, burn you like the mid day sun. Last May, like pretty much every summer for the last 30 years or so, I bailed town to chase the bright lights and glamor of show biz, or at least get a good touring gig where over the course of three or four months I could make most of my nut for the whole year. A year ago this week I was here in town for a week or so, starting my first year at Thee Swanky Dive On The Strip. We had a break between the Euro and US legs and I spent it learning the ropes at the new gig and seeing such comedy favs as Rodney Carrington and Bill Engval.

Other than the insufferable weather, plus the Strip block long walk from employee parking it’s sort of like being on the road living on the bus. But not really. At least a couple of times a week on the way in (or out) of the gig I see many tour coaches and trucks at the docks of the big venues in town. I reflect fondly on the memories, but glad I’m not a passenger in one of those vomit comets. The schedules are different, and that’s one thing that takes getting used to, even after a year. We have basically two modes. Run mode, where we run the show, and dark/creation/enhancement mode. Most shows do the creation mode before the show opens. Now the braintrust that runs our show, even after two years hasn’t quite figured the show out. So they keep changing it. The other shows like ours (or shall I say, the other shows that we are like) don’t seem to have this problem. They tweak, but not to the extent that we do. And we are some tweakin’ motherfuckers. And we change the show quite a bit, too. For the last several weeks we’ve been on “enhancement” mode.

This week I thought I’d give you a chance to see a comparison of schedules between touring fly date roadie, touring bus roadie and production show roadie in run mode. In creation mode it’s like being in pre production touring. You get there early in the morning and don’t leave until late at night.

A Day In The Life….

0600 (we’re doing Euro time here because I think it makes me look cool, or is it kewl?)

Fly Date: You are either at the airport, on the plane already or heading for the airport unless it’s a day off.

Bus Date: Comfy asleep in your rack either at the gig or on the way to the gig unless it’s a day off and you might already be in your day off room. Or in the back lounge regreting you stayed up all night with the lighting guys.

Production Show: Considering where to have breakfast after spending the night in the Artisan/Peppermill/PT’s with the Drinking Club With An Audio Problem.

0900

Fly Date: At the first layover or if you are lucky (or unlucky depending on your outlook) on the ground headed to the gig in some van or minibus that either smells like shit, piss or barf (or a combination thereof) or is way too small for everything and everyone. Or if you’re really lucky, or unlucky, all of the above.

Bus Date: The noise department is just getting up and off the bus to breakfast. The squints have been off the bus of an hour or so but it’s not like they sleep with the amount of krell they do. Hopefully you didn’t stay up with them.

Production Show: Better be in asleep by now, or at least in bed explaining to her that you’ve been really tired lately and aren’t able to perform. Not that it’s happened to me. This week…

1000

Fly Date: You’re either late to the gig or at the gig. If you got in the day before you’re at the gig finding that the locals either a) aren’t there yet or b) there but don’t have the right shit and there’s no hot breakfast catering.

Bus Date: After a hearty breakfast you’re on deck watching chains go into the air and decided where to put the PA so that in an hour or so, after you’ve got the stacks rigged, video or scenic can come in and tell you that the PA is in the “wrong place”, even though it’s the best place soundwise.

Production Show:

ZZZZZZZZZ or trying to convince the gal from wardrobe (or the front office) you’ll respect her in the morning, even though it’s approaching the afternoon.

Noon

Fly Date: Wondering what kind of flat meat is going to be for lunch and wondering if the local production can get it together in time for the band’s arrival mid afternoon.

Bus Date: Wondering what kind of flat meat is going to be for lunch and wondering if the production you brought can get it together in time for the band’s arrival mid afternoon.

Production Show: “All I need is two more hours sleep, honest…”

1600

Fly Date: Hopefully the local production has it’s shit together enough to be able to do the scheduled band check. And with any luck the band isn’t hungover, drunk or in jail and the afternoon goes as planned.

Bus Date: Hopefully the touring production has it’s shit together enough to be able to do the scheduled band check. And with any luck the band isn’t hungover, drunk or in jail and the afternoon goes as planned.

Production Show: Run crew call, start of the day. Hope you got enough sleep. Do your basic check. make sure all is OK, share uncomfortable silence in elevator with gal from wardrobe (or front office). Well, at least you aren’t hitting on the performers. This week…

1830

Fly Date: Lounging in your room or some shitty backstage area because your rooms are in the next county, 40 miles from the gig. You don’t have to deal with the support acts so at this point there is dinner. I wonder what kind of chicken they have in catering for the meal?

Bus Date: Lounging in your bus or some shitty backstage area because your bus is in the next county, 40 miles from the gig. You have to deal with the support acts so at this point there is no dinner. That’s OK, they only want to give you 30 bucks a night to spend a few hours of your already taxed day dealing with them even though if they were hiring you direct it would cost them a couple grand a week, not counting PD and accomodations. I wonder what kind of chicken they had in catering for the meal? Hopefully the merch gal or production assistant will bring something to the console even if it’s stone cold and last in the chaffing dish. If you’re on a good tour, the touring catering goddess will bring you something hot, and if you’re lucky, some food too.

1930

Fly Date: Top of show, everyone look sharp. Hope Elvis stops in a couple of hours.

Bus Date: Top of show, everyone look sharp. Hope there is a 2300 curfew, or least enough disinterest to keep this as short as possible.

Production Show: Top of show, everyone look sharp. The show runs 92 mins and 32 secs per night, though when we improvise it might run 94 mins 45 secs. We like to live on the edge.

2130

Fly Date: On an evening with we better be done by now, we’ve got a 0430 lobby call.

Bus Date: Headliner started about a half hour ago. Hope that 2300 curfew is still in effect and the band doesn’t feel like spending the dough to violate it.

Production Show: Second show started, we’ll be out of here in a couple of hours.

2300

Fly Date: Back in the hotel, and that’s good because the 0430 lobby call you had was really an 0400 lobby call. Don’t worry you can sleep on the plane. and by the way you got a middle seat, last row, it doesn’t recline.

Bus Date: Trucks are lined up, we’re loading this bitch out. Can’t wait for the cold pizza/wings/chinese food in the bus in about an hour and a half or two.

Production Show: Load out? Truck? What the hell is that? We’re heading to the Artisan/Peppermill/PT’s for a meeting of the Drinking Club With An Audio Problem.

0100

Fly Date: ZZZZZZ or trying to explain to the business MILF from the bar that you’ll still respect her in the morning. Even though you’ll leave in 3 hours.

Bus Date: All showered up but there was no soap and the towel was way too small, but you’re lucky you got a towel at all and don’t even start bitching about the cold water in the shower. Or the backline guys, bus driver and merch guy eating most of the after show food. At least there is beer, but wait, it’s warm Coors. (thought you said there was beer?…)

Production Show: The Artisan/Peppermill/PT’s seems kind of dead. Shall we hit Scores, OG or Lil Darlings?

So there you have it, the differences between the various gigs.

More for Gore or the son of a drug lord?

None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord….

Lot’s going on at Thee Swanky Dive in the middle of The Strip here in the shithole in the desert. Been dark for the last couple of weeks, be dark for another couple. We yanked all the FOH PA out, stacks, control, everything. We did leave some of the infrastructure to save the multi billion dollar place a couple hundred grand in costs and save some time. Instead of taking as much time to do it as it takes to do it right, the brain trust that runs the dive decided to set an arbitrary date, based on seasonal schedules and the gross potential of missed gigs instead of taking the time to do it with a schedule that doesn’t run everyone into the ground. Everyone is busting ass with 12 to 16 hour days being the norm. Truthfully, I didn’t retire from touring to move down here to be a sound system installer (at below market rate except when in OT) and we’re just wrapping up and none too soon.

In terms of sound and lights, we’ll be the big swingin’ dicks on the Strip, that is until those clown guys from Quebec open that rocker/magician show at the big glass pyramid on South Strip. That will be a real feat of magic, getting butts in seats in a property that saw it’s best days more than a decade ago. Apparently, we’ve got the largest permanent installation of moving lights in the country, in addition to having the bitchiest (is that even a word?) outside design staff in the world. Apparently they know this guy named “Tony” (I don’t know if he is a tiger or not) who gives out awards (until recently not to sound designers) and that enables them to be insufferable pricks. They tell me that when you get a few of these awards, it entitles you to be a really big dick. I find that curious, because I’ve never needed an award (or excuse really) to be a big dick, particularly early in my career.

Normally, dealing with these type of folks is not a problem for this old roadie. On tour within the first day or so we would have come to an understanding, and they likely wouldn’t have been pleased with the results. But here we can’t do that. It appears our executive management staff have misplaced their testicles and have placed the burden on the supervisors and troops in the field. For example, a roadie translation might be “Excuse me, sir. Is there any chance of you getting your shit together in the near future, say perhaps, before we die of old age?” Simple, effective, it gets the point across. In this environment the truth many times is not welcome and needs to be couched in passive aggressive terms, least one gets a complaint they are “creating a hostile work environment”. The exchange turns into “Excuse me, sir. You and your colleagues are giving me contridictory information and in some cases is not possible to achieve (for example, the 3 channel beltpack for the spot ops… no really…) so you’ll need to get me a design and some information so I can implement a system that actually exists.” Some other choice gems are “this comm is broken, we hear the Lighting Designer on every channel, you must fix it NOW!!” Yes, that tends to happen when the (award winning) Lighting Designer engages the mic on each comm channel. It’s not called crosstalk, though. It’s called routing your mic to every channel on the intercom because you don’t know how to use your base station. Or the lighting design team insisting the comm is broken because the (award winning) Lighting Designer decides to rename the channels on her station, giving them contradictory names to the channels the rest of the show has been running for a couple years now. Or (yes kids, there’s more) insisting the Creative Director’s radio mic is patched into the intercom and it’s likely being heard through an open mic. No that’s not the case at all, they insist. Not possible we say, given our current system. She’s still hearing the Creative Director in her headset. That wouldn’t be because you’ve turned your sidetone all the way up and that person is about 24″ from your open mic, would it be? Why pray tell, it is! It’s not his mic you are hearing, IT’S HIM! At each point (as well as many others like it) it was explained that was how PL comm works. Though each time, it’s a “problem” with the comm. I’ll agree, there is a problem, but it’s with the people using the comm. No apologies, no recognition of an end user issue, just attitude. I’d like to meet this guy they call Tony. If nothing else, to kick him square in the nuts.

All of that to get to the point of this episode which is that dealing in the production show realm is different than it is in the rock realm. In fact, when looking for staff if you apply and have primarily rock/concert experience you likely won’t get the gig, or even a sniff at an interview. As stated some episode back, most of the positions are filled by people you know. There are some instances where the candidates for a particular slot aren’t known quantities, primarily for the entry level jobs. Being as most of the management comes from resort casino, themed entertainment and cruise ship, they really aren’t plugged into the concert SR world. Conversely, the folks from concert SR aren’t plugged into the production show world. The man that many (including myself) consider the Godfather of not only production show audio in town, but audio in general, the Dark Menis, told me just after I moved down that he couldn’t hire me for a senior position because I didn’t know enough about the production show realm. And he was spot on (that’s why he’s the Godfather).

While many in senior management see these more as theatrical gigs, they’re a hybrid mix of theater, rock and corporate. A lot of comm. No A LOT of comm. More than any other discipline except for perhaps broadcast. Big time AV with massive MATV and/or CCTV systems. Rock style mixing on most of the shows. In most musical theater you are lucky to get good thump from the kick and bass (though in Mamma Mia and Hairspray here in town they rocked the house) and in terms of most, well, most of you theater (and AV) kats aren’t suitable for mixing realtime stage mons. One big peeve of mine is that the mons are given second class status. Something on many shows that the trainee does. There are some shows that do understand that proper stage mons are a key to having a good sounding band.

Here’s some tips for trying to land a gig in Vegas, partuclarly a non concert gig. First, you’re really going to move to town, or get a local phone and address so we at least think you live here. Some are able to get gigs before they move here, but your best bet is to pack it up and as the kin folk said “Jed move away from there”. Highlight things other than regional/local concert SR and concert touring. Cruise ships and themed entertainment seem to be in favor with those doing the hiring. Have more than one resume, tailored for each specific type of gig. The showroom/rock club/theater gig is one, the corp/AV gig is another and the production show/extravaganza is another. Mixing is not likely what you will be doing. You’ll need to be strong in comm, video and lot’s of grunt work. Even if you are on a console, unless it’s a concert/music gig, you’ll be supporting someone else’s mix. They define a baseline and you need to hit that every show. You aren’t the guy that decides how it should sound, you get the sound that the guy that decided how it should sound wants. Your gig is to support the production, not design it. Young theater/drama grads, don’t emphasize how much you want to be a sound designer. That’s great, but if you really want to design, don’t come to Vegas. We already have A designer here in town. Better for you to cut your design chops in LORT or summerstock somewhere or live in some shithole in Joisy or Brooklyn and give B-way a shot. We need techs. You need strong troubleshooting skills, computer skills and most of all, but a well rounded, mature adult.

And that’s where a lot of the rock guys fall short. This is an adult environment and many times the concert and touring realm is nothing less than some sort of Peter Pan Never Neverland where a lot of the guys just haven’t grown up, even into their 30s or 40s. You have to act like an adult, dress like an adult and have a reasonable degree of emotional stability. (well shit Dave how did you land a gig there?) If you are still doing drugs, you won’t make it as the screening process will eliminate you. Likewise for more serious felony convictions. They do a full background check. What can you expect? A reasonably stable environment where you can make enough money to raise a family. Granted, you’ll have to do it in Las Vegas, not exactly my first choice if I were starting a family, but there are scores of good gigs available. You have benefits, which sadly are not common in our business. If you are looking for a stable, long term career in pro audio Vegas isn’t a bad place to look. As long as you can hang with what it takes to get and do a gig here.

We’ve got a repeat this week, The A Barking Dog production of “The Glamor of Show Biz”. Shot on location on tour in 2004 with that British soundguy with the hot wife/tourmanager (gotta love a tourmanager that will show you her tits, with her husband sitting next to her…) turned producer/keyboard player/vocalist that liked to work on “projects”. Would have liked to have finished the posts giving the young turks some advice, but we are pretty busy this month at Thee Swanky Dive on The Strip that dunks 90 lb (how many kilos is that?) French chicks in water nine shows a week. Only worked just over a half day today, about 13 hours. They wouldn’t listen to me anyway. Which ironically is one of the things I’m going to address (no, D Day, not you specifically).

I’d been out most of the year in 2k4. In the break between my summer camp with them sisters and going to Brit dude again, I picked up a mini DV cam and a copy of Final Cut. I was (and still do) use it for candid photography,
a nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat, say no more, know whatahmean…) Then I also stated shooting things on tour. Particularly overseas. Got lots of tape, should edit it someday. We started one fall weekend in Amsterdam, two days off (no gig in Amsterdam) prior to starting the tour. Poland, England (where we were almost deported for no work permits), Greece, Italy, The Carribean, Mexico and other locales. Took me about two months to cut and score it.

High band width version at http://www.roaddog.com/video/glamor_broadband.mov

Low bandwidth at http://www.roaddog.com/video/glamor_low_bandwidth.mov

Enjoy… We’ll be back with new posts in a little while.

Whatever happened to NataIie Imbruglia anyway? I was just thinking what I was doing a year ago today. Several hours ago, a year ago today, I was having breakfast in Montreux, sitting across from Van Morrison and his party at The Palace in Montreux. I miss that part of the life, mostly the people (and somewhat the money) but I don’t miss the lifestyle. I’ve got it good right now. But I miss my homies, or is that hommeys? I miss Briggs (and judging from recent email on the current tour he misses me), Kaitoi, Tupper, Big Joe the TM and those knuckleheads in the band, and most of all, “The Jazz Singer”. I have a different gig now, and it’s a different life. Change is good, so I’m told. Part of the change that perplexed me is how people are hired here in Sin City. Oh, BTW yesterday I became an official resident of the “Great State of Nevada”, or as I like to call it, the shithole in the middle of the desert. It was 115 degrees today. Today will likely be my last day off for the next three. perhaps four weeks. Kind of like touring though I have my own space and I’m only on call for about 10-12 hours a day. That said, there are many differences between how I was hired for the gig with “The Jazz Singer” and this gig I have now at a big time show on The Strip.

One of the biggest differences I first saw when I was hired at Thee Swanky Dive On The Strip (marketing, feel free to use that…) was the way they hired sound roadies and also managed the creative talent (we like to call performers) as though they were part of the corporate resort cog, much like porters, doorpersons, cooks and waiters. Based on what I’ve seen in the last year, most of the people outside the immediate production related departments not only have ever managed our sort of workers, I doubt they’ve ever been to a concert. Pretty fuckin scary sometimes.

In our little village of the show it’s not too bad though some in management have never had show biz jobs off The Strip. And it shows. This just in, there is an entertainment industry outside of the few miles of Las Vegas Blvd they call The Strip. That’s right folks, the rest of the entertainment biz is in Nashville and Branson. The crew are pretty hardcore having a myriad of experience, much of it theatrical though there are several of us old rock dogs on staff. We total around 120 or so, of which 75 or so are required so we can do this show. The Noise Department can do the gig with 3 Varsity players on the team. The band has more people than the audio department. Most of the other departments need at least 10, sometimes more just to do the gig. Even after nearly a year on the gig, the scale and scope is awe inspiring. As is the corporate mentality and outright stupid bulshit that surrounds the process.

The hiring process is unlike anything I’ve seen or experienced in the soon to be 28 years in this field. Prior to last year, here’s how it worked…

“Dave, dude, this band, the Big Hahnyocks needs a sound guy. You available?” says the person you know, prod manager, tour manager, manager (or most likely manager’s assistant because the manager can’t be bothered talking to a roadie), wardrobe gal, lampy or backline guy you know. Simple, have a gig, know someone that can do it.

You determine what the dates are, how much cash is to be exchanged what the hell you are supposed to be doing on the gig and everything is golden. Worked for me for touring and for the bigger corp gigs I did. It was more who knew me, rather than who I knew. It worked pretty well and I was on some shit hot crews over the last few decades, if I must say so myself. There were a few numbnuts here and there, but pretty much everything was pretty enjoyable, except for those couple of gigs we subbed for dB in the 90’s which were absolute shit fests and I don’t think either Harry or I ever got past it and Bruce never gave a shit. Old guys will know who I’m talking about. Ironically, the last tour I did before hanging it up for the bright lights, high tech, insufferable resort management, on The Strip was on a tour where they were the provider. It’s a small world and you gotta watch where you shit when you eat, so to speak.

Here is how the hiring process works at this kind of place. You apply on the Web. I lucked out in that my gig was crafted for me. They knew that I had applied for a management position almost a year earlier and a tech position about six months after that. Many, if not most of these higher end slots are filled from within. The posting and application process is more of an EOE/HR jerkfest than a real search for a compatable candidate. There aren’t many people not already working on The Strip that are qualified for these gigs. It’s an interesting mix of rock, theater and corp/AV gigs that define the skillset. Most regular rock guys don’t make the cut. And that’s too bad, because The Strip could use more honed rock guys. Some of the guys working here are an embarassment. They know dick about power distro, basic acoustics and audio theory and how to work with others in a fast paced environment.

You apply. If you’re lucky you get an interveiw. I didn’t, my pal Steve called and offered me the gig and I was hired sans interview, but they knew about me from my nearly three decades in the biz. I wish that were the case with all the candidates. It was just over a year ago, Steve called about 16 hours before I was to leave for Azerbijain on a two month leg. Part of this kind of gig is to get a drug test and background check. I diverted my day to get my drug test. It was at a non descript office in south LV, in the same industrial park where Ultimate Ears used to be when they were in LV. The next morning I boarded a flight to take me away for the next nine weeks to come back to my orientation at the big time resort casino on The Strip.

Nine weeks later we had a week break and I spent it at the big time resort casino, doing my orientation and getting a few days of normal gigging in that environment in. The next six weeks or so I spent knowing that it was likely my last as a touring showbiz roadie. And it was quite a relief. And hooking up with Ksug for a few days was an extra added bonus. It was like the light at the end of the tunnel, except that the light wasn’t a train ready to roll me over, but the conclusion of a life of work. I can’t tour extensively anymore. It’s fucked me up not only mentally, but physically. I loved it, but it was time for me to go. It was probably past time. The transformation into Vegas production show sound roadie from hardcore touring sound roadie has been, well, eventful. and we’ll cover that in another episode of A Barking Dog.

We’re back bitches, and I mean that in a non judgemental way. Been almost a year since the fat guy kicked it off the road. Much has changed since then. Primarily, being able to serve, obey and enjoy serving my corporate master. Much of the life of ABD has been being able to cronicle the happenings at the big rock show. Or, more aptly, as big a rock show as I was on at the time. Things change in life, kids. That’s how the cookie crumbles. One day you’re sleeping in a bed that travels 70 mph, not being able (or willing) to take a shit until that bed stops (usually at the next gig) to going to a plush resort, pushing the Go Button ™ at least 50 or 60 times a gig and having to fit into an environment that isn’t exactly former rock roadie friendly.

The pretty restrictive NDA that I signed, which may have already been breached, won’t let me post like I did in the three or so previous years where you, dear reader, got a glimpse inside what was happening on the rock show. This production show thing is different, in that I can’t piss off some uptight assholes and expect to keep my cushy gig at one of the big shows on the Strip. And there is more than a fair share of uptight assholes on the Strip. Due to all of that, and the fact I started burning out on writing more than a year ago, I decided to do ABD more like an HBO TV series than some navel gazing tech worker blog post. By the way, where the fuck is my final season of The Wire and why did Brad Grey pussify the Soprano’s finale? Let’s not even get into what happened to Deadwood other than to say that John guy from Cinncy better fucking well deliver on my entertainment value.

That said, this “season” ABD will take on a few topics. In no particular order, one is the changing and acclimation of going from touring rock guy to production show guy on the strip where I have as much experience as most of these kids are old. Sometimes it’s pretty scary. And I mean that in an Eddie Haskell sort of way. That will be some real fish out of water stuff and let’s hope I don’t get sacked along the way. Another pet project of mine will be getting young people ready for entry into this so called great profession. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to do anything else, and that’s not because at this point I couldn’t get a job doing anything else. At least not for this kind of dough. Truth is, at least the truth as I see it, is that many (perhaps most) of the youngsters getting into the biz today are sorely equipped to perform at the levels we need them too. Or maybe I’m just too crusty an old fart and shouldn’t smack down the kids. No, I should, chances are some of them deserve it. Lastly, we’ll do something near and dear to me, motorsport. I’m just starting with the karts again and looking to other forms of motorsport. Should be fun, at least for me anyway.